NOTE: Another pilfered post from my old blog.
May 23, 2006
When I was over posting on Blackboard today, I started recalling the good old days of technology way back in the late 70s when I begged my mom to buy me an Atari 2600. That’s it, over there. What a fine piece of machinery, complete with the very classy faux wood paneling along the front. It was a thing of beauty.
Up until that day, if you wanted to play a video game, you had to go to a video arcade. My video arcade was in the back of Woodbury’s, right next to the “Wall of Candy,” and it consisted of three games: Pitfall, Dig Dug, and, of course, PacMan. Each game cost a quarter, and with my whopping allowance of $2.00 that meant I could buy 4 candy bars (also a quarter a piece) and play 4 video games*. The sucky thing about the video games was that you only got three lives, and once you died, you had to plunk in another quarter and start all over again. It was exasperating, to say the least. This is how Atari changed my life.
No longer would I have to pay to play on a game by game basis. I could play all day long if I wanted to, and it wouldn’t cost me a dime. Well, technically the console cost money, and then each game cartridge cost even more money, but I wasn’t forced to degrade my self publicly by slipping quarter after quarter into the unbeatable machines down at Woodbury’s. (To this day I still believe they had those games set on the hardest level possible, so that no one could play for very long without losing. That way, they’d make more money off of all of us kids who were already hopped up on sugar from all the candy we’d eaten, and single-mindedly focused on reaching level 10 so we could put our initials on the Top Score list.)
Now, I could sit in the comfort of my own home, play until I had blisters on my thumbs, and work my way up through the levels until I had mastered the game. Then, I would invite my friends over and kick their butts as they tried in vain to beat me. They didn’t stand a chance. They hadn’t been able to practice like I had. They didn’t have their own Atari 2600. Silly fools!
For a little while, I was a legend. I could beat those guys in the Dungeons and Dragons club who wore black Space Invaders t-shirts and thought they were so cool. Me, in my pink satin shorts and matching Shaun Cassidy iron-on pink and white baseball tee. Oh, but it was only for a brief moment in time, and eventually splitting my time up between Barbies, rollerskating, and riding my Schwinn past the houses of boys I liked would be my downfall. The D&D geeks reclaimed their rightful place at the top of the video game hierarchy, and all was right in the world.
I’d just like to say thank you to Atari for letting me glimpse greatness that one time. And forever making me a gaming geek.
*A full 20 minutes of fun, guaranteed. If I made a concerted effort, there was a small chance I could stretch my time in Woodbury’s to a half-hour, but that didn’t happen very often.
CANDY BAR ADDENDUM: I remember once buying a Giant Chunky and being so disappointed that (a.) it was so small, and (b.) it had raisins in it. Ew. I had to spit it out. What a waste of perfectly good chocolate. Stupid candy makers poisoning my chocolate with dried fruit, how DARE they?
One of my favorite candy bars was Toffifay. Their slogan was, “Toffifay is too good for kids. Toffifay is for grown-ups.” Well, I was a kid and I thought that shit was delicious. For those of you, who are unfamiliar with said candy, allow me to describe it to you and all its yummy deliciousness. Each piece of candy consisted of a soft caramel cup, filled with creamy milk chocolate that hid a hazelnut, and topped with a dollop of dark chocolate. HEAVENLY.
The other three quarters were usually spent on more familiar fare, M&Ms, Snickers, Kit Kat, or Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. In 1982, when E.T. came out, M&Ms made a critical mistake by not allowing the producers the use of their candies. So, Reese’s came out with a look-alike candy, Reese’s Pieces. Like all other children my age, once I saw E.T., I HAD to get my hands on some Reese’s Pieces. So, the first day they appeared on the “Wall of Candy,” I purchased a bag.
Apart from the Giant Chunky incident, I have never been more disappointed in a candy. First of all, they were waxy. The outside appeared to have some funky coating that was a bit off-putting. Second, they didn’t taste very good. I was under the incorrect assumption that the peanut-filling would be the same as Peanut Butter Cups, and I loved me some Peanut Butter Cups (still do). But, I was wrong. The filling was bland, so you had to pop about ten of those bad boys into your mouth to even taste them, and even then, it wasn’t really “a taste sensation.” Lastly, they only came in three colors: brown, orange and yellow. They were like reject M&Ms, because everyone knows that the green ones taste the best. But, I reminded myself, E. T. was from another planet and HE liked them. Maybe I was missing something. Perhaps I had gotten bad batch. I tried them again the next weekend, but they still sucked. After that, I decided it would behoove me to use my 25 cents to purchase a candy bar I actually liked.
How I ate four candy bars in one afternoon and not barf is a total mystery.
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