Editor’s Note: This is a Facebook meme sent to me by my friend, Maggie. It was rather enlightening, so I decided to share it with all of you. I hope you enjoy it.
***********FOODOLOGY***************
1. What is your salad dressing of choice?
Blue cheese with extra blue cheese crumbles.
2. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
Sit-down restaurant? What is this, 1940? Who wrote this quiz, Betty Crocker? Okay, enough of my smart mouth…um, that’s a hard question. I like a LOT of very different restaurants. The Yardhouse in Honolulu.
3. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
Peanut butter and chocolate ice cream.
4. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
If I’m feeling carnivorous, pepperoni, hot Italian sausage and black olives.
If I’m feeling wistful, an all-time, can’t-go-wrong favorite, pepperoni.
But I will never turn down a slice of plain cheese pizza.
5.What do you like to put on your toast?
Butter (melted, or well-spread…no chunks *gag*) and strawberry (or raspberry) jam.
6. Any vegetables you don’t like?
A fajita is my nightmare, too, Maggie. See? I KNEW there was a reason I liked you so much. ;o)
Other veggie no-nos include broccoli, cauliflower, brussel sprouts, asparagus, any form of onion, any shade of bell pepper, and cabbage of any kind.
It might’ve been simpler to list just the veggies I DO like. ;o)
7. Do you eat seafood?
Yes, and I would eat it for every meal if I could. It’s just another reason on the long list of why I would make the perfect mermaid.
***********TECHNOLOGY***************
1. How many televisions are in your house?
Three: one in the den (for those not born in the 70s that’s the “family room”) which is the plasma with all the bells and whistles and 700 cable channels and, my best friend, the DVR; one is in the living room but rarely sees any use aside from Jeopardy! on week nights, and even then, usually only regular Jeopardy! and not Double Jeopardy!, almost never Final Jeopardy!; and one tiny TV in my mom’s room that she never uses.
2. What color cell phone do you have?
Hot pink, baby.
3. How long would it take you to look up who invented the Rubber Band?
Less than 5 seconds. My search engine is a BEAST. (William H. Spencer of Alliance, Ohio on March 7, 1923, FYI.)
4. Have any idea how many Megahertz your computer has?
2.17 GHz (2170 MHz). Surprisingly, that took longer to find than who invented the rubber band. Go figure.
***************BIOLOGY******************
1. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Righty.
2. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Oh yes, lots. Let’s see…my wisdom teeth, a disk (thank God I proofed this before posting, I had originally put “dick” instead of “disk” and that probably would’ve need some explaination…lol) in my cervical spine, my uterus and my cervix. I’m just like that guy in the game Operation, except my nose doesn’t light up.
3. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
My boobs, every day. Damn Kernohan women.
4. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
Not that I can remember. LOL. Oh, I crack myself up! But, seriously, yes. By anesthesia, by terra firma and once by my own mother’s voice (thanks, mom).
************BULLCRAPOLOGY**************
1. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
Nah. I’m a planner for sure, but I hear that on that day, other people take over. Sounds good to me!
2. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Kimberly Wimberly. True story: My mom’s best friend growing up, who lived just down the street from her, was Patsy Wimberly. However, my mom never noticed the one-letter difference in our names until I pointed it out not too long ago. She swears it had absolutely nothing to do with her naming me Kimberly. Quite the uncanny coincidence if you ask me.
3. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Not for a $1000. Plus, even if I was offered more money, I probably couldn’t do it. My gag reflex is one of the best working reflexes in my whole body. Funny, you’d think I’d be thinner. Hmm.
************DUMBOLOGY******************
1. How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
At least 10 pairs, but probably more. I am a beach bum at heart.
2. Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A long time ago. Either it was for a speeding ticket or the time I turned left out of the Malibu Colony shopping center only because a truck was blocking my view of the No Left Turn sign. Stupid cop didn’t believe me, and gave me a ticket anyway. Prick.
3. Last person you talked to?
Myself.
4. Last person you hugged?
My mom.
**************FAVORITOLOGY****************
1. Season?
I live in California. At the beach. We don’t have seasons. However, I prefer June Gloom to the Santa Anas, of that helps you.
2. Holiday?
Fourth of July. How could it BE any better? You got fireworks, and a parade, and hot dogs, and the Boston Pops playing Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture…no work, no school, and pretty much a license to be three sheets to the wind all day long. I freakin’ love this country.
3. Day of the week?
Sunday. Brunch. The Time’s crossword puzzle. All the good TV show finales. As long as you don’t drive anywhere, it’s by far the best day of the week.
4. Month?
November, but only because it’s my birthday and I love me some presents.
***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************
1. Missing someone?
Like you wouldn’t believe.
2. Mood?
Reflective, yet hopeful.
3. What are you listening to?
The *beep-beep-beep* of the bulldozer as it digs a new pool over at Pali. Irritating, yet totally worth it.
4. Watching?
Myself type these words.
***************RANDOMOLOGY*****************
1. First place you went this morning?
Bathroom. Does anyone go anywhere else first?
2. What’s the last movie you saw?
Fired Up, which was unbelievably funny. If you got a kick out of Bring It On, you’ll love this. Excellent, rapid-fire dialog keeps this one entertaining to the very end. Sure to be classic lines include (but are not limited to):
Nick Brady: Bottomless breadsticks only keep you at the Olive Garden for so long, until at some point you look up and say ‘Why the hell am I at the Olive Garden with all these fat people?’
Brewster: [after he punches Rick] That was for the Crocs. You’re not an old lady gardening or a baby on the beach. OK? Now put on some shoes, you’re embarrassing yourself.
Nick Brady: [trying to talk his way out of football camp] So not only do I find out yesterday I’m adopted, the people I’ve been calling ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ are actually infertile impostors who bought me outside of a meth clinic in Cincinatti for two boxes of Sudafed, but I also get this news dropped on me: my birth father, Bruce, he needs a kidney and I’m the only match! And apparently Bruce needs it stat. Mhm, you need it stat, Bruce? HUH? Well maybe I needed a father stat, instead of this stay-at-home-dad who showers me with love every day of my life this goddamn spermless liar! So now I gotta be at Kaiser Permanente tomorrow at 6:00 am. I know. Bruce couldn’t even afford a real hospital. Managed care. It’s ironic, huh? He never managed to care for me.
Nick Brady: Mopey, I’m talking to you. You’ve been sitting out here staring into space for like two hours.
Shawn Colfax: [checks watch] It’s been five minutes.
Nick Brady: Really? That was five minutes? Wow, I guess I really do suck in bed.
Funny, no?
3. Do you smile often?
At least once a day.
***************OTHER-OLOGY*****************
1. Do you always answer your phone?
More like never.
2. It’s four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
Obviously someone I don’t know, because I don’t ‘do’ texting.
3. If you could change your eye color what would it be?
My eyes DO change color. I’m like a human mood ring.
4. Do you prefer cold or hot?
My theory is: you can only remove so much clothing, until you’re buck naked; however, you can always put more clothing on. So, I suppose ‘cold’ but, like Maggie, ‘California Cold’, not ‘Fargo, ND’ cold. I could never live in a place where you have to start your car by remote control so that it has ample time to warm up. Plus, the thought of being snowbound makes me panicky.
5. What’s your favorite gossip magazine?
People (because Jim was right, they ARE strange).
6. Have you ever had a pet fish?
I have, and his name was Charlie (odd coincidence, don’t you think Maggie?) He was the best fish ever. Brilliantly blue, boyishly handsome, he was smart as well as pretty. You may not believe this, but he was trained to recognize his owner’s voice. Now, Charlie is in that big fishbowl in the sky. I miss him.
8. What’s on your wish list for your birthday?
A man.
9. Can you do push ups?
It’s possible, but not probable.
10. Can you do a chin up?
Nope, and I never have been able to. Forget climbing a rope, either.
11. Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
Neither. I like to take each day, one day at a time (“so hold on tight we’ll muddle through”). No sense worrying about what the future brings, no sense wishing it would hurry up and get here, either.
NOTE: Before I finished this, Michael Jackson suddenly passed away at the very young age of 50. He had planned to start a world tour at the end of July. No one, not even the King of Pop, knows what the future has in store for us. No one. MJ will be greatly missed, even if he was a freak. You’d be, too, if you lived his life.
12. Do you have any saved texts?
I don’t understand. Is this question in English? By ‘texts’, do you mean books? If so, then yes.
13. Ever been in a car wreck?
Oh, sure. Lots. I even wrecked my best friend’s car once (love you, Pama!). I think I’m up to 5 wrecks, and if anyone else ever hits my car again, whether it’s in motion or not, I am giving up my driving privileges forever, because, clearly, somebody wants me dead.
14. Do you have an accent?
No, but I can. I often adopt a Southern Drawl or a British accent for no reason at all. Keeps people on their toes.
15. What is the last song to make you cry?
Stardust by Nat king Cole. Gets me every time when he sings, “Sometimes I wonder…why I spend…the LONELY NIIIIIIGHT…dreaming of a song…the melody…haunts my reverie…and I am once again…with you…when our love was new…and each kiss…an inspiration…BUT THAT was…lo-o-ong ago…and now my…consolation…is in the stardust…of a song.” Just KILLS ME.
16. Plans tonight?
Yes, but they are classified. Sorry. If I told you, then I’d have to kill you.
17. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
Gosh, I hope so. Like Maggie, I would hate to think the worst has yet to come. Now there’s an awful notion.
18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday?
A bag of Pirate Booty, some Texas Toast, and a dude’s line about how wonderful I am.
19. Have you ever been given roses?
Yes, but I could always use some more.
20. Current worry?
Am I really a good writer, or is everyone just saying that to be nice?
21. Current hate right now?
I try not to hate, if at all possible. However, right now, I hate that my back is still spazzing out. Enough already.
22. Met someone who changed your life?
Oh, WOW. That’s a loaded question. I think I’ll take the ‘Matrix’ stance and say, I can’t be sure. Is the world full of people who we meet and get to know, or is this all some very vivid dream that exists only in my mind, and the people and things just extensions of my inner-self? So, are these people changing my life, or am I changing it myself? How would I know the difference? Mind-scrambling, isn’t it? Remember, there is no spoon.
23. How will you bring in the New Year?
In with the old, out with the new? Or is it the other way around? I can never remember.
24. What song represents you?
To my knowledge, no one has written a song about me. So, I would have to say none of them. Otherwise, that would be stealing someone else’s song. Right?
25. Name three people who might complete this?
Mieke, Julianna, David…at least, I hope they all do. I hope you ALL do, actually…otherwise, I wouldn’t have tagged you.
26. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Abso-frinken-lutely. Most especially, if I could change the past.
27. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
Yes. All losers, to be sure, but the answer is still yes.
