Weak in the Knees
Posted by kimlno on November 15, 2008
Today I was met with a truly unfamiliar feeling. For a few moments, I felt small. Not small as in the universe it SO BIG and I am so insignificant (because if you know me, you KNOW I don’t consider myself insignificant). I am talking about physically small. One could even say I felt dwarfed by the man I was talking to…and it actually made me swoon. Yes, swoon. Like a 30’s film star. I felt the need for a fainting couch and some smelling salts. Luckily, we were in the meat section of the market so the cool air wafting from the packages of cellophaned beef and chicken kept me from buckling at the knees.
Maybe it’s because everyone I’ve worked with for the past two years has never exceeded three feet tall, but this man, who stands a full head and shoulders above me, was making it difficult to concentrate on the words coming out of his mouth. I wanted him to take a step closer and slide his big hands around my waist (or at least the area that I should have a waist), meet behind my back (because I knew his arms were definitely long enough), and glide up my spine as he pulled me close to him. My face would be immediately smothered by his broad, firm chest…making it difficult to breathe, but had he done what I was imagining, I wouldn’t have been able to breathe anyway, so it would be okay. Oxygen is over-rated. I wanted him to (oh my god, please stop me before I type this…)…hold me. Yes, I have just sent the women’s liberation movement back about 100 years, but I just couldn’t help myself.
The worst part is…I KNOW this guy. And when I say “know,” I do not mean in the Biblical sense. In fact, he was one of the few men from my past (who, when I refer to them in the past, I mean they were boys…mere children with driver’s licenses), that I didn’t even kiss. Not once. He never even tried. And, yes, he was good friends with my boyfriend at the time, but that didn’t seem to stop any of my boyfriend’s other friends from making a move on me. I generally believe that having a long term boyfriend actually attracted MORE of his friends to me. Something in the male ego about competition and winning…boys, go figure. (Women are much more civilized. When I found out that said long term boyfriend cheated on me with a total whore, I simply tried to run her over with my car. What? She got out of the way and no one was hurt. I mean, she didn’t even press charges. See? Civilized.)
So, ANYWAY…as I was saying…I totally lusted after a guy I’ve know for 20 years in Gelson’s meat section simply because he was taller than I am. Note to self: Get taller friends.
Share: Facebook | Digg | Del.icio.us | StumbleUpon | Reddit | Blinklist | Twitter | Technorati | Newsvine | Permalink
